You are my sunshine
I am so tired. He has been the easiest newborn we’ve had, but boy – I forgot how exhausting the first few weeks can be. He eats pretty much every hour, and my chest feels like I’m a faucet that someone forgot to turn off. It’s funny to see people hold him, and their eyes widen as his little mouth searches for mommy and her milk.
Having a newborn is hard. Don’t let anyone make you feel as if you are alone in the difficulties you face. For anyone – whether it is your first, third, or last baby, it is always an adjustment.
My only sunshine
His brothers love him so much. People meet my assertions of his brother’s love with dubious looks – but really, his brothers are like little watchdogs over him.
“Mommy, D is hungry!”
“Mommy, D looks uncomfortable”
“Mommy, D needs a new diaper!”
“MOMMY!! I need to kiss baby D!”
I now have three boys under the age of 5. If you have more than one child, the juggling act multiplies. There’s a new baby in the house, but everyone still needs just as much attention as they did before.
You make me happy when skies are grey.
As wonderful as it is to be home with him, it is harder than I could have ever imagined. Some days I can’t help but cry, as I struggle to meet everyone’s needs. The other night my boys saw the tears flowing as I changed the baby and they crowded around me, giving me kisses and saying how much they loved me. My tears changed from those of exhaustion to those of gratitude.
Tears, frustration, and fear – these come hand in hand with laughter, happiness, and excitement. There’s a lot going on, and expressing yourself and your needs are important, not only for you but for your family as well. Even though they are little, the kids notice the change, and it is important that they understand that it affects you as much as it does them.
You’ll never know, dear how much I love you
Everything I do and everything I am is for my babies. I work long hours, try to have home-cooked meals almost every day, and try to keep myself healthy. I smile through it, and exhaustion shows in the wrinkles at the corners of my eyes, but it is all for them. I wouldn’t know how to slow down even if I were forced to do so.
I may not be the perfect mom, and I may be struggling right now, but every mom struggles. Every mom feels some sort of inadequacy because we all want to be the best for our littles. Our sacrifices are willingly (often happily) made – for them.
Please don’t take my sunshine away
I’m always scared that I’ll do something wrong. Even though this is not my first baby, each newborn is different. Each baby is different. As strong and healthy as this little guy is (he is our first non-NICU baby), he is so delicate.
Every mom has fear and nervousness. You are not alone, mama. Breathe. Your sunshine will grow bigger and ever brighter each day. I know it doesn’t feel like it right now, but this newborn stage will be gone soon. Relish in their shiny new glow. Rejoice in the warmth of their skin against yours. Recognize that not only are they your sunshine, but you are theirs.