Cast My Fear


Cast My Fear

First day of school has come and gone but the memories of how I felt before school began stay fresh.

My daughter is stronger than Mommy. She has been through five surgeries since birth.

Letting her go into the world without me is the scariest feeling any mommy can and will have in their lifetime. Letting go of my fear was not easy.

The thoughts of “What if?” crept into my mind weeks before the first day of school. The fear made me anxious and stressed. I couldn’t think straight. Quickly the weeks and days were closer for her to attend kindergarten. Planning with fear in the way is not easy to handle but I had to make sure my daughter was ready and secured for school.

As the days crept closer the fear was higher and I couldn’t take it a day more. I had to face the fear whether I wanted to or not.

The night before school I did not sleep well. The thoughts of her needing me were taking over my need to rest. I know she was well prepared to be taken care of by the teacher and the nurse. I just had to accept the fact that my little girl would be alright that she was in good hands and I had to let the fear disappear.

As I sit here remembering those feelings, I think about how fear can become our worst enemy; it’s natural to fear but not natural to let fear take control. I had to make the decision to cast my fears so that I could go on through the day.

Mommies will always have more than enough fear to last us a lifetime, but if we let the fear take control we will never be able to enjoy those happy moments of our children’s accomplishments. Let the fear go and love strong in God’s speed.

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Melissa May Gama Bean
Reflecting on the many blessings I have I can say that I'm fortunate to be in God's favor. I have two beautiful daughters that have brought a change of life to our home. My husband and I have known each other since we met in the fifth grade. We call ourselves elementary sweet hearts. Our lives have brought us together in ways we never imagined. Living life together has made the journey easier and well worth the memories we share. Currently, I am a second grade teacher and I hold a bachelors in sociology and a masters in education administration. As an educator, I have become an advocate for children and teachers. Believing in others that they can achieve anything they set their minds on helps them succeed. People today need to be compassionate about what they do for a living and that's me-I am a compassionate, strong willed woman who will aim high in achieving success and helping others achieve their own goals.



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