Of This I’m Sure: Certainty as a Foster Parent


Certainty. It’s something that, as a parent, I work hard to achieve. To be honest, I spend a LOT of time trying to get there. I want to be certain that my kids are excelling in school and making great friends and progressing as they should. But I know, deep down, that certainty in parenting is a mythical creature. 

How much more so in foster care. My family has been a foster family for nearly six years, and I can say with certainty that it is a roller coaster of a ride! I think my most-used phrase when we are fostering is, “we’ll see.” Because there’s not a lot to be sure of in foster care. But there are a few things to be sure of, and I’ve learned to go with the flow and celebrate the victories, whether big or small.

Of This I’m Sure:

  • My agency will make the placement call when my pantry/grocery supply is at its lowest.
  • I’ll get attached.
  • I’ll look back at the period of time that we had a certain child, and I’ll be unsure how we managed it all.
  • My agency will call again.
  • I’ll say yes.
  • I will again come to the point where I’m not actually sure how we will do it. But we’ll find a way.
  • What I think is going to happen probably won’t happen, or (for certain) won’t happen on my preferred timeline.
  • It will be hard for my kids. And it will be good. So good.
  • It will be hard for me. And it will be good. So good.
  • I will be reminded that I’m not in control. But that instead I’m called to be faithful.
  • There will be a lot of waiting. And a lot of paperwork.
  • I will be surprised. Surprised by what the sweet one doesn’t yet know. And surprised by what he or she already knows all too well.
  • I will have unanswered questions. Lots of them. 
  • I can’t do it on my own. I need others around me to help and encourage and bring food and babysit and walk alongside through all of the craziness.
  • This child will be part of our family and living in our home for just the right amount of time (and I don’t know what that is).
  • My heart will grow, and so will my capacity to love.
  • These sweet ones need a safe place. Maybe for a week, maybe for a month. Maybe forever.
  • There’s room at my table for a few more.

May is National Foster Care Month, and I invite you to learn more about what I have come to learn is a great need in the Rio Grande Valley. Check out the Texas Department of Family and Protective Services site for more! 


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