I never thought my only child (she’s two, almost three) would be asking for a sibling. Never in a million years. Not so soon, not ever.
She is the center of our universe, she has issues with sharing, and she loves ALL the attention. And believe me she gets lots of attention from us, our whole family and basically from random strangers she meets at the store. Life pretty much revolves around her. That’s all she’s known — to be honest, that’s all I’ve known — since the day she was born. In my eyes and in my heart, she is enough. I am the luckiest mom to have given birth to my little best friend. I have her and she has me.
Photo credit: Crystal Kelly Photography
“Mommy, what’s wrong with your stomach?”
One ordinary night as I was getting her ready for bed and putting on her pajamas, the first of MANY baby conversations arose.
“Mommy, what’s wrong with your stomach?” she asked.
I looked at her a bit confused and couldn’t believe she could tell I had gained a few extra pounds!! I responded, “Nothing is wrong with my stomach, what do you mean?”
“No, Mommy, what is wrong with your stomach? Do you have a baby in there?” she asked with a huge smile on her face.
“No there’s no baby in my stomach,” I replied.
“Why Mommy? I asked Jesus to put a baby in your stomach yesterday!” she insisted.
“Oh, you did? Ok, but you need to ask Jesus everyday for a baby.”
“I already asked yesterday. Who else do I need to talk to, to put a baby in your belly?” she protested.
She basically was asking to speak to Jesus’ manager to get this whole baby thing rolling.
I couldn’t help but laugh and just stare at this little human before me. I picked her up and hugged her so tight, just amused by her comments and the way her brain was working to try to comprehend what I said.
She doesn’t take “NO” for an answer, trust me. She meant business then and still she continues to tell her dad, her grandma, and even strangers, that I am having not only one baby, but two! I may be at fault for this, I know I’ve let her watch Boss Baby on Netflix one too many times, but I never imagined that would spark her interest in being a big sister.
She talks so much about a baby that I think my own family thinks I’m keeping a secret from them and that I am, in fact, pregnant. I’m NOT pregnant mom, I promise you will be the first one to know.
Anxiety around Baby #2
I know my mom wants me to have another baby, it’s so clear that my daughter is done being an only child and even my husband is ready to expand our family. It’s not that I don’t want more children, but I feel like the pressure is on and my baby-making body just doesn’t want to cooperate.
I suffer from PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome). My daughter was truly a miracle sent from heaven. The doctor told me I would have a very difficult time conceiving, and yet I have a little princess of my own.
I beat the odds once, but what makes me so sure that I will beat them yet again? It’s scary and lonely to go down the road of infertility. What if I can’t conceive anymore? I don’t want to disappoint my husband, my family and, ultimately, my daughter.
“Is the baby coming today?” she asked one day.
“The baby in your belly.”
“I don’t have a baby in my belly, sweetheart”
“Ok, can the baby come tomorrow?”
“Sweetie, you need to be patient.”
She then screamed at me. “But I am patient, see?!!”
I know she doesn’t understand that every time she talks about me having a baby, I feel a little ache in my heart.
I would do anything for her and I hope she grows up to know that. But what if I can’t give her a brother or sister?. She doesn’t understand now, but one day she will. For the meantime I will continue to encourage her to pray, build her faith and just remind her how special she truly is to us all.
I won’t stop her from talking about babies, but I might just skip the baby aisle at the store to avoid people congratulating me when they hear my daughter ask for baby bottles, baby diapers and baby food for the baby in my belly. She is definitely a planner and is thinking ahead…way, way ahead. I, too, should think ahead. I should think of her, of my family and of how fast time flies. I will enjoy every moment I have with my loved ones, and If I am blessed with another child one day, then I won’t have any regrets.