Ask Me About My Busted Lip


I am not a victim of spousal abuse. I do not easily anger or get in fist fights. However, I was recently punched in the face by a piece of workout equipment. Hard.

Let me clarify. My lip was busted by a slingshotting elastic band with a mechanism fixed to its end. When it happened, I thought my whole face was caving in. Words that I abhor escaped my lips. I saw stars. In my garage.

Ask Me About My Busted LipMy first thought was, “Oh dear, people are going to think my husband beats me.

He doesn’t. And people didn’t. In fact, nobody ever asked me about my lip. It was pretty swollen for a day or two. Then emerged a bruise that could have passed as a blurry beauty mark near my upper lip. Add in a few breaks of skin around my nose, lips and chin, and that’s how my wound surfaced.

To tell you the truth, I thought it was going to be so much worse. I may as well have had a brick thrown at me, it hurt badly enough. I know with certainty that I have never been and will never be much of a fighter. The whole incident is a bit embarrassing.

The point? I am not a victim of abuse, but I haven’t been able to stop thinking for the past few days about those who are. And why hasn’t anyone asked about my busted lip?

Considering how hard I was hit, I was surprised at the anatomy of my injury and that most of it was hidden under the skin.

What does abuse really look like? How bad are the bruises? Would I even know if my best friend was suffering underneath it all? I see abuse on TV and it always appears to be extreme and obvious. But is it always so?

Would I say something to a friend that has a tiny suspicious mark on her face, or would I politely ignore it and assume that she doesn’t want to bring any attention to it?

I don’t know the answer, but I am acutely aware that my manners would probably lead me to do the latter and never bring it up in conversation.

If you are a victim, speak up. If you are a friend, just ask. Ask my about my busted lip. Ask me about the bruise that’s been on my face the last three or four times you have seen me. What is the worst that could happen?



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